Templates and guides for difficult conversations with doctors, family, and hospice providers.
Open Communication
Clear conversations ensure everyone understands the situation and has a voice in decisions.
Shared Understanding
Discussing goals and wishes together helps families move forward in alignment.
Less Regret
Families who communicate openly tend to have fewer regrets about care decisions later.
Better Support
When people understand what\'s happening and what they need, they can help more effectively.
"What is my/my loved one's current diagnosis and expected prognosis?"
"How much time do you estimate we have (if applicable)?"
"What are the goals of the current treatment?"
"Are there any other treatment options we should consider?"
"When would it be appropriate to consider hospice care?"
"What symptoms should we be watching for?"
"How do I manage pain and other symptoms at home?"
"How do I reach you with urgent questions or concerns?"
Find the Right Time
Choose a quiet, private moment when everyone is calm and not rushed or tired.
Listen More Than You Talk
Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Show that you value what the other person thinks and feels.
Be Honest
Share your concerns and feelings openly. Avoid protecting people with white lies that might cause bigger problems later.
Use "I" Statements
Say "I'm worried about..." instead of "You're not taking this seriously." This reduces defensiveness.
Validate Feelings
Acknowledge emotions without trying to fix them. "That must be really scary" is often enough.
Plan Follow-ups
Hard conversations rarely happen all at once. Agree to talk again and check in regularly.
Don't ambush
Give people time to prepare mentally. A surprise conversation about end-of-life rarely goes well.
Don't dismiss concerns
Even if you disagree, don't minimize someone's fears or opinions. Acknowledge them first.
Don't make it about you
Focus on the patient's wishes and best interests, not on what's easiest for you or others.
Don't rush to decisions
Most end-of-life decisions can wait a few days. Give everyone time to process.
Don't use guilt or pressure
Avoid "You have to do this" or "If you really loved them...". These create resentment and regret.
Don't avoid the hard topics
While it's hard, not talking about death, dying, and wishes often causes worse problems later.
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